Between Languages
For Flemish people, it’s a common frustration that they are regularly in the position of accommodating within their own country. Though data is relatively limited on the subject, it’s estimated that about 75% of Flemings speak French, whereas only 20% of Walloons speak Dutch. Education is the primary contributor to this: Flemish students learn French by default from their fifth year of primary school, compared to Wallonia where Dutch is not mandatory in schools.
Because of Europe’s linguistically diverse landscape, English is regularly used as a common middle-ground language, including for business and political leaders. However, among regions with lower English speaking rates—Wallonia among them— communication can falter. It’s in these moments of silence in particular that biases, created often from an early age, can dominate our impressions of people, even if we have no personally negative experiences.
Cox says that “when people are put in a bias box, polarization is created.” Biases are often created from an early age, and not always formed on personal negative experiences, according to the American Society on Aging, but rather through “direct and indirect messages all around us over the course of a lifetime.” It’s futile to try and root out all of your biases. “Most of our biases are unconscious” Cox notes, “and being aware of them constantly is exhausting,” says Cox. Instead, we can pivot toward communicating even despite barriers using both verbal and nonverbal communication, such as a translation tool or cues like body language. And when English isn’t a person's native language, it’s wise to give them grace, as their words may not reflect their exact intention or tone perfectly.
Within the Same Language
A Flemish friend once told me that on a trip to the Netherlands, he was ordering in Dutch at a restaurant, and the waiter, understanding perfectly what he was saying, kept replying in English, with Dutch clearly being his mother tongue. A battle ensued between the two of them: my friend relentlessly speaking in Dutch, and the waiter holding fast in English. At first, he was frustrated that it seemed like his Flemish accent was being invalidated by the waiter. But later, as he reflected on the situation, he realized that it was likely that the waiter was accommodating for the whole table — there was an English speaker sitting at the table.
Accents, Ernst notes, are fertile ground for misunderstanding and misinterpretation. “There's a pressure to eliminate accents when speaking to avoid stereotypes,” she says. As a result, many speakers of regional dialects attempt to mimic the standard form of the language, whether it’s Mexicans speaking Spanish or Afrikaners and Flemish when speaking Dutch.
In the case of internationals, there are several external pressures to remove accents, including in the process of learning a new language. Ernst wants to challenge this notion, encouraging new learners to speak with their accents and not to shed their identity when speaking, rather to focus on making well-structured sentences and communicating in a way that’s generally understood.
Cox builds on this point but shifts the perspective toward the speaker cultivating a robust identity, which acts as an armor. “The stronger we are in several categories of our life, the less stereotypes can affect us. Our identity isn’t fragile enough to be built on stereotypes. Nobody can change our inner self-confidence.”
Across Cultures
It’s easy to become unsettled with unfamiliar social habits. But often, what feels strange or even rude is lost in varying customs and practices, and can be boiled down to different psychological ways of interacting with the world around us.
A perfect example of this is an experience I had on a metro ride in Denmark. I was sitting in a seat across from an older lady, who stared at me the entire ride. Over time, I became flustered, growing increasingly self-conscious. Was it something I was wearing? The way I was sitting? As I stepped off the metro, she gently waved at me, then pointed toward my untied shoe.
Stereotypes and generalizations certainly don’t encompass or define an entire culture, and they become harmful when they exclude room for individual differences. However, stereotypes aren’t always complete mischaracterizations, but rather, partial truths. For instance, it is safe to say that the Danish tend to be shy and are less likely to interact with a stranger, than say, Spaniards, both based on personal experiences and if you look at empirical data.
Cox notes that we shouldn’t toss out the utility of stereotypes entirely. “Stereotypes dominate our impressions of people and the world, especially in times of stress,” Cox explains. Drawing from his experience in emergency rooms, knows that when doctors are in an environment with information overload, they must sometimes work on preconceptions and shortcuts to perform in a fast-paced environment. “It’s with good intentions that these stereotypes are created.” He shares a candid example: “In healthcare, professionals assume that Mediterraneans exaggerate symptoms, while a Polish person could come in with a heart attack and you wouldn’t know. These are our ways of trying to understand the world. It’s easier to think in black and white and miss the gray areas.”
Generalizations are also a way that we create dialogues. Ernst says that as human beings, we are “wired to find similarities and talking points” and we draw from our existing information to do so. For example, an Italian probably knows that when they are outside of Italy, they should expect a ton of remarks complimenting their country’s food or weather. I’ve lost count of how many times people have responded to finding out I’m from California by expressing their affection for Hollywood movies, the Golden Gate Bridge, or their holiday visit to New York City. Little do they know I grew up in a rural farm village three hours from any major California city, and I’ve never set foot on the East Coast of the U.S. However, these are our ways of finding commonality and connection. We shouldn’t interpret these with malice but rather understand where the desire is coming from.
In the case of some generalizations, what some consider a positive trait about a country, others find to be a negative one. Take, for instance, the famous Dutch directness, a hot topic at this Expatival session. Notably, this culture shock is not unique to internationals; Flemish people, who tend to speak in more roundabout ways than the Dutch, also noted that blunt Dutch responses sometimes feel abrasive to them. I, on the other hand, find Dutch directness incredibly refreshing coming from a culture where people can go in circles to make a point! Our reception of cultural differences can sometimes be chalked up to personal preferences.
Furthermore, it’s important to look at the intention behind the speech. In a culture like the Netherlands, which prizes efficiency and transactional conversations, brevity may be more emphasized, and the concern for its reception may not be placed with as much weight or consideration.
Explore Other Cultures at the International House Leuven
Ultimately, cross-cultural communication comes with significant challenges, however, at the core of our communication exists the same overarching goal of communicating our humanity differently. It’s natural to rely on mental shortcuts or our existing information, especially in unfamiliar terrain, as long as we don’t assume they represent the whole picture.
If you’re looking to dive into other cultures and meet new people, the International House Leuven is a great place to start. During many of the events, the topic of cultural differences comes up frequently. Check out the activities page to see upcoming events.
About the Workshop Hosts
Larissa Ernst has been living as an expat in Belgium since 2017 where her practice in Leuven is focused on psychotherapy for the international and expatriate community. She also offers online psychotherapy, which enables her to assist clients across the globe. She works with adult individual clients, couples/partner relationships and families. She has a special interest in interpersonal communication and how this impacts our mental well being and relationships. She is experienced in assisting couples to separate or divorce in an amicable way serving the best interest of the children impacted by the separation and also in perinatal mental health, especially within the expatriate context where there is limited support for new parents.
Toon Cox is a tenure-track professor at KU Leuven, where he coordinates the Master of Interpreting programme and leads the Interpreting Studies Research Group. He teaches courses related to Spanish interpreting, interpreting studies, and multilingual communication. Furthermore, Antoon is a research fellow at Vrije Universiteit Brussel and serves as co-chair of the Special Interest Group on 'Language and Cultural Discordance in Healthcare Communication' at the International Association for Communication in Healthcare. He also serves on the Regional Advisory Committee of GLOCAL (The Global Council for Anthropological Linguistics) at SOAS, University of London. His research focuses on social interaction in linguistically and culturally diverse and stressful environments, such as emergency departments and asylum reception centres. Additionally, he conducts research on access to mental health services for migrants and refugees.
This article was contributed by Colby Grey, a recent master’s student graduate from KU Leuven and journalist from the United States who is currently on a search year permit.